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Princess Lydia Elemental
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 679
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Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2004 11:08 pm Post subject: Mozenrath's Plan |
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Does this sound like a good fanfic I am writting so far.
Aladdin and Jamine have a baby they name her Astar. She is a combanation of her father and mother. Everyone is happy. Little do the know at Mozenrath's Citadal a plan has been made to make this child be the key to Mozenrath's plan. Aladdin and Jasmine can't wait till there little girl is 16. Though they do not know what fate is instore them and her. Will they be able to rescue Astar, or does Mozenrath have plans for them too.
What do you think of it?
This is just a outline not the story. I hope it is going to be good when I am done with it!
This is my first fanfiction any suggestions? |
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Princess Lydia Elemental
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 679
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Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2004 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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any suggestions? |
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Nez Eccentric Papyrus Jockey
Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 2617 Location: Bellevue, Ne
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 9:39 am Post subject: |
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Try not making it a Mary-Sue fic. Then again, the age difference would be very far apart (Mozy=40 when Astar turns 16).
Scary. _________________
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AladdinsGenie Genie of the Messageboard
Joined: 17 Jul 2004 Posts: 11856 Location: Tennessee
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 11:13 am Post subject: |
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It sorta sounds like a combination between The Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty. But yeah, just don't *make* it that combination, you know? |
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Princess Lydia Elemental
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 679
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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I won't! don't worry I think it will be a good story when it is done! No it is not a cross over. Thanks for the suggestions! |
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Nez Eccentric Papyrus Jockey
Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 2617 Location: Bellevue, Ne
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Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2004 12:23 pm Post subject: |
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Went to your site, read the first chapter.
Has potential, but it's kinda bordering on being a Mary Sue fic.
Mozey seems kinda out of character in some spots.
Other than that, it has potential. Just work on the characterizations. _________________
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Princess Lydia Elemental
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 679
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Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2004 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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I am and thanks nez!! |
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Princess Lydia Elemental
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 679
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